PNS339 Your Cup Runneth Ovary Part One

PNS 339 show notes by Mo’Nique -- Hey, baby. Lemme pull my finger outta my figgy puddin’ so’s I can press Play. OK, muthafukkas – bring it to the table. First up, we’s Inside the PNS Actors Studio with the three Cs: Cher, Celine and Cyrus. It be a penetrating interview. Gotta give it some oomph, baby. That damn girl Jennifer Aniston’s lip is hairer than my legs, and Drew Barrymore be talking shit all up like she’s Dick Van Dyke or somebody. For all you total slut bitches – I’m with you, baby, coz dick is good to me – getta pair a these L’eggs with Plan C. Ain’t nuthin getting through them, and I mean no shit, bitch: before, during and after. Who the hell keeps Mounds bars on their nightstand? Baby, I gots my Mounds in the bed. You with me? Goddamn: those crazy Bush bitches are back in the house. Who let them muthafukkas in? Patrick went to New Yawk City and saw some nasty play, Stephen Spinella in the can and gobbled himself up some cupcakes. Well, la-di-damn-da to all that shit. He also have the love that can’t speak its name ’cept on a podcast heard round the muthafukkin world, but I say be proud, baby. Or fat. Gimme a joint so’s I can get high as a bitch. Up on the Xtube, Greek Farts is planting his ass wind into people’s faces. OK, I’m cool with that. I made “Phat Girlz” remember? There’s a game where you gotta guess what flavor peoples is. My flavor flav is chocolate ripple. Do you hear me? Lotta shout outs to bitches across this World Wide Webs. Holla, muthafukkas! Wait up – you can get chlamydia from a bike seat? I’d be worried if I could get up on a damn bike. Miss Vivica A. Fox has a steamy figgy puddin for a skinny ass girl. Know what I’m sayin? In this week’s episode of “He’s Gotta Lotta Time On His Hands”, Rob tells all about “The Cougar”, “Toddlers and Tiaras” and “The Lottery Changed My Life.” You know what changed my life? Puttin a damn apostrophe in my name, baby. That took me from where I are to superstar! You’ll see: just wait for next year’s Ocscars, s’all I’m sayin. A listener drops a call from Pittsburgh and wants to know what your last meal would be on Death Row. I would eat anything. Everything. Obviously. These crazy ass muthfukkas finish their show with the song that the Scottish fat gal be singing all over the YouTubes. I say: beautiful lady, you enjoy being yourself just the way you are. Well, after you get your hair done. And maybe your nails. Then you can dream the dream, baby. And yo eyebrows. I’ll see y’all later, baby!