PNS337 Full-face Shart in Two-seconds Flat.

PNS337 show notes by Queen Elizabeth IIWhat? I can’t hear you. Those handsy Obamas gave me an iPod and it has changed my life. I’ll never have to sit through “God Save the Queen” ever again. I was opening a hospital this morning and listening to PNS the whole time. Delicious. Rob’s back! Which stage of grieving is Hilary Duff’s career at? She’s 22, so rehab is gonna be right around the corner. Patrick and Noah had a bad-movie night watching two shitpiles: the talent-free “The Room” (you can watch a clip on Boomtacular) and yet another Ashley-Judd-gettin’-roofied-’n’-raped crapstorm, “Twisted.” The Daytime Emmys are coming up. Who will be nominated? Marnie Schulenberger or Meredith Hagner? Crystal Chappell or Marcy Rylan? I’m so excited I could wet my — oops, too late. Actually, I don’t have a clue who any of these people on daytime are, but someone sure does: Rob “I’ve Got Time On My Hands During The Day” Lindley. Mouth-breather Star Jones (born “Starlet” – no kidding) tried to be an inspirational weight-loss guru on “Oprah.” Nuh-uh, girlfriend. That’s selling ice to eskimos. Those “Whatever, Martha” girls are wretched and need a snarky fag to make it work. What are those Queer Eye faggotz doing these days? “Rescue Me” is a fire station packed to the balls with hot guys. How hot? Pat would let any one of them go the full-face shart in two-seconds flat, so you know they’ve gotta be five-alarm. Also hot: Bonnie Hunt’s warm-up guy. The warm-up crew on “Oprah” are just nazis, and Oprah herself is pushing for the 2016 Chicago Olympics. Getting a drink at Sidetrack will become a gold-medal event. Listeners who want to be on the show: email with your Skype name. Who’s dropping off the perch first: Farrah Fawcett or Patrick Swayze? More calls to 206-888-GAYZ, please! Keep ’em short and snappy, OK? If you need counseling or have a voice that sounds like the dial tone, you’re totally calling the wrong number. Pat’s off to New York to take in some Broadway shows. “9 to Gyne: The Musical” just opened, the perfect excuse to round out this shit sammie with a shrillcast of that song. BTW, Dolly: if you have any more plastic surgery, your gunt’s gonna be up where your boobs are and your boobs will be behind your ears. Stop it! I liked this show so much that I’m subscribing in the iTunes. Look at me - I’m a web-savvy silver surfer. L8R, subjects.