PNS330 Marc and Emily!

PNS330 show notes by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II -- Welcome to PNSexplosion. May I take your order? Two special guests in the stujoe tonight: Emily and Mark. Can you say “married heterosexuals”? Give it a shot: ˈmarɪd hɛt(ə)rə(ʊ)ˈsɛksjʊəls. Don’t panic, though – they’re the funzies kind. Pat says 17% of PNS listeners are gynes, so 82% must be cocksuckers and 1% are just assholes. Some uplifting chat about lung cancer reminds me that when I get my shift break I’m going out by the dumpsters and sucking down a Misty Menthol Ultra Light 100. Emphysema never tasted so fresh. A listener sends in the best of American cinema: “Joey Silvera’s All American She-Male Road Trip” and “Bra Bustin’ and Deep Thrustin’”, which Noah will enjoy later in 5.1-channel surround sound. Boi-oi-oing! Miley Cyrus drops by to read from her autobiography – she’s 16, for fucksake – and manages to knock a beer into the mixer with her Venetian horse veneers. Panic and hilarity ensue. And yes, she’s getting her bean flicked by that hot model. Hey, Nadya Suleman – your vagina is not a clown car. Emily’s working up a case of fetal alcohol syndrome before answering listeners’ questions about lady parts. Americans love soft, round things, which explains both why men like boobies and Kirstie Alley’s entire career. What do you call your vagina? I call mine the Maj Vaj. Works for me. Tonight’s Irrelevant Pop Culture Moment™ stars David Boreanaz, Jayden Rayne Boreanaz, Mischa Barton’s clueless parents, Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou. Gesundheit! Noah makes a valiant attempt to identify a Kardashian: close, but no cigar. Gayle says Oprah never gets anything, so I guess her $1.5 billion pile of cash means jack shit. How do you fix a broken vagina? You can’t – just get a new one. Watch the “Betwixt the Show” vidjoe on the PNSexplosion Podcast page over on Facebook, and dump some comments on the PNS blog, Here’s your McSkillet Burrito with Sausage, Cheese, Bell Peppers and Onions. Would you like bowl-spattering, blood-flecked diarrhea with that? Oops — too late. Next, please.