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The following show notes by her royal majesty Queen Elizabeth II--

Good evening. One often asks oneself, “Where are those gynes?” God, I could really go a handsome woman right about now. Speaking of hot guys in Highway to Heaven, Paul Walker – you may remember him from films such as The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious and the upcoming Fast & Furious – once did a guest spot as a full-functioning retarded. Pics here. Aspergers, Krillenbergers, what next? If Chris Brown and Cisco had a baby, it would be called Crisco. Noah’s improv ups my heart rate, too. I'll tell you what Stevie Wonder won’t be seeing – besides anything – is this shitstorm. That bitch was totally asking for it. Out now for the Nintendo Wii: Gerald’s Game Sunshine. One is always falling on things with one’s mouth open – just ask the Duke of Edinburgh. Gulp! Can I tell you a secret? I hate “God Save the Queen”. I’ve heard it every day for 83 fucking years. Enough! Chicks with Dicks Gone Wild, anyone? I don’t eat red meat, either. I just put it in my mouth, swish it around and spit it out. Mmm hmm. What is a “pop tart”? Is it anything like a “Geri Halliwell”? Where's Scott? What movie is this quote from: “I'm standing there with my pants down and my crotch hung out for the world to see and three guys are sticking it to me, a bunch of other guys are yelling and clapping and you're standing there telling me that that's the best you can do.” That’s right, it was Paul Blart: Mall Cop. One is so pleased our schools are teaching children to be useful. One needs to take a dump. Liz out.

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