PNS623 - Sweet Cherry Pie

** Almost forgot to thank Matteo Lane and Bertcast for all the love -- great podcast! Listeners, check it out to hear more of Patrice, Matteo and Bert. **

Hey loverly listenturds!

Hope you're having a fantastic weekend. We are!

The boys came (all over my face) over last night and we had a blast. That means, for you, it will be utterly unlistenable. We hopped all over topic wise, so rather than list them out, just fucking listen. AND tell your friends, give us 5-star ratings on iTunes and spread the word, as you would your legs.

Love jews all,


PNS621 - Phylicia Rashad

Hi listenturds! It's been a while, but we're still here (hanging by a thread). Lots of fun talk, hope you enjoy! Dropping (a deuce), er I mean, special Oscar episode right after this one. Love you all. Be Kind, Rewind.

Go over to iTunes and give a five-star review and spread the word of PNSexplosion as you would your legs or the words of Jesus Christ.

Love you bitches! Patrick, Noah & Scott

PNS620 - Sexy, Hump Humps!

Bois and Squirrels, do we have a good one for you! The show is pretty bland though.

Teeny tiny PNSexplosion breaks an exclusive interview with First Lady Melanie Trump and former First Ladies Barbara and Laura Bush! That's more Bush than a party at Larry Flynt's house.

We say some other stuff too. 

Love you all! Let's all get our poop in a group and be sure to stand strong in anyway you see fit! 

"This is your world. shape it, or someone else will."  - Gary Lew



PNS619 - Open Pit Barb-e-que Sauce!

Hi Listenturds,

Apologies for the delay on getting this (and the next episode) lubed an ready for your ears. It's on me! The holidays were a blow-out, meaning Patrick, Noah and I all spent way too much money at the salon. 

Let's see, we talk about AIDS/HIV/PrEP and rubbing your doinger on Berber Carpeting as well as some really unimportant topics, such the state of the union and healthcare reform.

Love each and everyone of you and hope you spread the word of PNS, like you would your L'eggs!



PNS618 - Mary Who-Rettin'

Hey-yo! Having soooo much fun with the new equipment and the ability to make calls to our dear listenTURDS and friends! We got America's Most Lovable Curmudgeon® Geiger on the phone for silly antics and good times. 

Thank you all for your support of the show! You can always donate – for just pennies a day you too can have a bunch of gays yell in your ears, it's true! Also, it helps buy us school supplies, shoes, braces (for both our faces and arms) and at home abortion kits!

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend if you're listening today, if not, enjoy the week. Keep on keeping on. Stay cool forever!




It's Patrick's Birthday! Everyone wish this lovely man, who I know personally literally makes me happy every time I see him. I know without Patrick in my life, I probably wouldn't be who I am today. I know, I know, that sounds so cheesy, but I want to get across how impactful he has been to me.

It's a fun show. It hopefully sounds like buttah' in your ears. I went down to see the sexy guy who loves to chat at Midwest Pro Sound & Lighting in Chicago and he helped me set up the machine (and the new equipment) so that we could do everything we want and hopefully improve your listening experience. 

One specific thing we can do is make live calls! Listen to hear who we called this episode.

Love you all. XOXO

PNS616 - Alexa, Is Mozart Deaf?


Good day lovely listeners! 

Hope you have all pulled your juicy booties (meaning your butt's, not Juicy Botties® - the Ugg®-like boot made by Juicy Couture®) out of bed, looked out the window, momentarily debated about jumping and then wondered, perhaps there is a new PNS to put in your ear. And guess what? There isn't. 

I mean there is, though a good 40 minutes (Peabody kind of stuff) got lost as we call it when we fuck up. The episode is still quite lovely, even though me talking about a date is not as riveting as watching Hoda & Kathie Lee dunk for apples in a wine filled barrel --- AND millions of people tune in to see that. 

Alrighty AFRO-ditey. I'm about to go obsessively curate Instagram photos I took on my real camera last night. Peace, love and hair grease. MUAH. ✌️&❤️.

PNS615 - Cath Up and Pass Out


Hi lovers! Guess what? Lots of things suck and we all know why. Butt, put your headphones on or crank up your device and listen to us (sans Scott) process what's left of the our feelings --- or at least the few feelings that have slipped through our wall of medication we take to keep them out. Keep listening and spread the word of PNS as you would your legs!

We love you ALL SO HARD! MUAH ✌️&❤️

PNS614 - The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Good day to you lucky bitches out there listening to us on your H.A.M. radios and the AM dials. All 16 of you. Take in to account that at least one of you is dead and it's playing on a loop in the background, I think we're crushing it! 💩

**unstoppable segue into the show **

Speaking of crushing it, we have Matteo Lane on the show tonight! This lil' beefy comedian is so very fucking sweet, funny, easy on the thighs AND he's definitely in the top ranks of biggest PNS fanboy (#pnsfanboy)! He's 50X more famous than any of us, so there's that too. 

At this very moment, I'm having troubles remembering anything that was said, except that we had a great time until the paramedics were called. It's a bit touch-n-go right, but we'll keep you updated via Twitter and Facebook as to if Noah, Patrick and Matteo are going to make it.

Go cubs (doingers everywhere!). Happy Hallo(Anthony)Wien(er) & GO FUCK YOURSELVES!